My Story
My NextGen Story
My grandfather is the reason I have a legacy.
Sixteen years after he passed, I still wonder if I make him proud.
My grandfather grew up in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, in the early 1900s. He slept on the roof of his tenement, and joined a Jewish gang — his nickname was “Weasel” because he was short, quick, and keenly intelligent. Grandpa Irving was actually the gang medic.
About 20 years later, he became a real doctor.
He was one of the first Jews in New York to be admitted to medical school and upon the outbreak of WWII, he enlisted as an army doctor where he treated many prisoners of war. That’s right, my Jewish grandfather healed Nazis. Only a man who saw people’s humanity first coupled with a strong sense of duty could do that successfully.
Grandma and grandpa — the early years
Before becoming a physician, my grandpa met my grandma and became a husband.
My grandpa, Grandpa Irving, aka “Weasel,” really was one of the smartest men you could meet. He applied his mind to many things. One of which was investing.
Grandpa Irving knew his way around a portfolio. He built up his wealth by saving, compounding, and learning best practices over decades. Because of his discipline, he was able to pay for my college education — and after he passed in 2006, he left me a small trust fund.
That means I’m a NextGen.
It was through this money that I could co-own an apartment in NYC, work low-paying, high-profile positions in film and nonprofits in my 20s, and could travel at a moment’s notice. Even though I inherited a trust fund, I did not inherit the skills to manage it. In short, I spent it all.
Money was a highly complicated issue in my immediate family so it was never spoken about. So — I never learned about it. The only time as a young girl I met my family’s wealth manager, I faced sexism, and was taught neither about wealth nor how to manage it, even in the office of a professional. Because of this tension in my family and the cloud of secrecy in culture around money management, I avoided learning about it.
I was so overwhelmed by the idea of inheritance, money, and by this idea that money management, investing, and financial strategy just weren’t “for me.” Those things were for dads — for brothers, for adults. Those things were for men.
While alive, my grandpa tried to teach me about finance and investing.
He would come over to my parent’s house every night for dinner and start talking about investing and finance, but I would mentally check out, or leave the table.
It’s hard to think about, but all of this could have been avoided if I had just taken my grandfather up on his offers to teach me. Why didn’t I?
I don’t have many regrets in my life, but I wish I stayed at that kitchen table.
I know my grandfather would have been patient, clear, and would have broken down the complicated-sounding financial terms so they would be easy for me to understand. He would have sparked my confidence I needed to take ownership over the massive opportunity I was given.
I can’t change the past, but I can create systems to teach other families how to have important conversations that strengthen their relationships and legacy.
Over the last 8 years, I started to transform my life by owning my behaviors and actions.
I taught myself about investing, which comes down to rather simple principles (thank you, Ellevest!).
I strengthened the relationships within my family and improved communication, so hot-button conversations could be treated with compassion instead of contention.
I learned the hard science on relationships so that my actions could be research-informed, instead of emotionally-driven.
I intentionally shifted my environment and habits so that the better choice was the easier choice.
And lastly (and most importantly), I learned how to physically self-soothe my nervous system so that I could mitigate instead of escalate any personal and/or professional situation.
These were all learned skills.
The work I did in my life is now what I teach to other NextGen.
Because of my personal experience, I can now coach the following:
Move your body from a sympathetic (stress response) to parasympathetic (rest & restore) state.
Instill small and positive rituals and habits into your life so the better choice is the easier choice.
Break down communication frameworks so family conversations can be connective and not contentious.
Shift the small moments in your life so they can eventually compound into positive life transformation.
Offer my personal experience — gotta practice what I preach!
Become your biggest advocate, partner, and dear friend.
Bring joy to your personal evolution.
Yes, family dynamics and family legacy can be complex at best, but there is a literal science to it, and I believe it is possible to improve any relationship.
My work is still a reflection of that same initial question — will I make my grandfather proud?
Today, I’m building my unique legacy that’s inspired by my love for my grandfather and my family.
After all, love is the most powerful tool we have.
For the love of family,
P.S. In the spirit of partnership, I need to give a very special thanks to Lori White. She was instrumental in helping me share my story and I wouldn’t be able to articulate it without her brilliance. Please check out her work and if you know what’s good for you, hire her! :)